Whitney and Megan, aka Wegan, met while they were oceans apart in 2006. Now, they dish about life as a femme lesbian couple, and have launched their own dating site, Find Femmes (which debuted in the Islands in March!). We quizzed them about their meet cute, making long distance relationships work, favorite things to do in England and Hawaiʻi, and how they got the idea to create Find Femmes.
How did you two meet?
Whitney: We actually met online, back in 2006 on Myspace, would you believe! I’ve always had a thing for the English accent, so I wanted to see what lesbians were up to in England. I found Megan online, after randomly finding a UK post code to search with. One click changed my life!
Megan: We chatted online daily in the lead-up to Whitney coming to study abroad in London for a semester, and actually met in person in London, September 2008.
Whitney, what were you doing in Hawaiʻi?
W: I was studying at University of Hawaiʻi. I moved out to Oʻahu in 2006 after visiting the island a few times, as my mom’s best friend lived there. I fell in love with the island and the aloha spirit … and knew I had to get out of Kentucky to be the person I wanted to be.
What was your first date?
M: I guess you could say the first day we met in person, even though neither of us had let on that we might actually like one another more than friends! We met by the steps in London Waterloo station, we had a walk through a London park, enjoyed some cocktails and dinner …
W: Though I was so nervous I hardly ate, and drank a bit too much!
M: We went out to the lesbian bar Candy Girl, where we shared our first kiss. Two weeks later, we were officially an item.
W: And the rest was history, or should I say herstory!
What do you recommend for others for a first date?
W: Ooh, how about a picnic on the beach with some nice champagne, or Kona Brewing Co. beer, while watching the sunset, followed by a stroll on the beach listening to the sound of the waves crash?
M: Or if you’re super nervous as to how the date will go, then perhaps arrange to do an activity that could lead into dinner, or you can make your excuses before you get stuck in a 3-course meal!
What is one tip for keeping your relationship alive long-distance? (Four years, that is crazy!)
M: Constant communication!
W: And being on the same page.
M: You need to both be fully committed, keep in touch and just work towards the next time you’ll get to see one another.
Why did you start Find Femmes?
M: We have gained an online following through our blog and YouTube channel and we’d often receive messages asking, “How do I find a feminine lesbian?”or “How do I find my Whitney to my Megan?” We knew from past dating experience how difficult it is to find feminine-identifed LGBTQ women (aka femmes), and always wished we had an answer to help.
W: So we decided we’d launch a dating site for just that! It was a few years ago that we thought how amazing it would be to help connect femme lesbians together, and maybe find a love like we did. We finally embarked on making the idea a reality last year in the summer, and Find Femmes was born.
M: The idea really is to help feminine LGBTQ women find love—whether that’s with a fellow femme or any type of woman who likes femmes. We’re also hoping it will help form friendships and raise femme visibility.
How can we sign up for Find Femmes, and will we be connected with women only in our area, or in the entire network?
M: You can sign up by heading to findfemmes.com and selecting the Hawaiian islands, or simply head straight to hawaii.findfemmes.com to find LGBTQ women across the islands.
W: If you’d rather connect with LGBTQ women across all 50 states, then simply sign to the mainland version instead.
How do you two enjoy running this dating site together?
M: We love working together on something that we’re both really passionate and excited about.
W: And it brings us together on another level and we have different skills that we bring to running the site. We’d love to be able to spend more time together one day!
Why did you bring it to Hawaiʻi?
W: We love Hawaiʻi and the Aloha spirit. Due to our long-distance relationship, the time we spent together in Hawaiʻi was always very special, there wasn’t a second we took for granted.
M: It’s also where I got down on one knee and proposed to Whitney, on our favorite beach, Waimanalo, on May 17, 2011.
W: As Hawaiʻi holds such a special place in our hearts, we wanted to give back and help others find love in Hawaiʻi!
M: We also created a tag line ‘aloher’ for Find Femmes Hawaii. We originally came up with the concept to embody finding love and the one, but we also want it to represent female empowerment and be a saying that all empowering/bad ass women can relate to!
If you visit, what is one thing you love to do, or recommend others do?
W: Visit Waimanalo beach! It’s such a beautiful beach and certainly nowhere near as crowded as Waikiki. Though on our recent visit it defiitely had a lot more visitors!
M: And can we add in stopping by Kona Brewing Company to sample the seasonal beers? We love going there, and love their ‘liquid aloha’! They always remember us as if we were just there last week.
How was the reception event for Find Femmes in Honolulu?
M: We held an intimate cocktail reception to toast the launch of Find Femmes in Hawaiʻi at the chic hotel The Modern, in The Study. We love it there! We feel it really represented our Find Femmes brand.
W: It was great to be able to actually be there in Hawaiʻi, rather than launching from the UK! Though in planning the launch, we found it quite hard to find and reach out to the LGBTQ community in Hawaiʻi, and it made us hopeful that Find Femmes Hawaii, along with organizations such as Chitty Bang, can hopefully help build a sense of a lesbian community!
What is a weekend must-do in England?
M: We’re fortunate to live in Windsor, where the Queen lives, and we definitely recommend visiting the Castle!
W: We’re not biased at all (laughs). Of course, seeing the sights in London followed by dinner and drinks; there are so many amazing places to choose from!
M: If you catch London on a sunny summer’s day, there’s nothing quite like it! You’ll have to enjoy a Pimms (English cocktail) in the sun!
For more information about joining Find Femmes Hawaii, visit hawaii.findfemmes.com.
This interview has been slightly edited and condensed.